Lighting It Up Blue!

For the past two years, during World Autism Awareness Month, Buddy Up Network partners with Special Hangout, a great social space for neurodivergent children and adults in Mumbai, to host an all-out dance party. The star of our evening is Tryps a.k.a Trishina, a fantastic young DJ and also sister to Rushil, a handsome young man on the autism spectrum, who is a painter and model.

This is one night when the community comes together – not to learn about a new therapy, or to discuss options for ‘What after us?’ – but just to have fun! Young people, dressed in sparkly sequins and sharp suits, with hair teased and curled, slicked back and pumped up, turn up by themselves or with their parents in tow, all set for a night of pure merriment and dancing. As Tryps’ beats, ranging from Sabrina Carpenter and Pink Pantheress to Hanumankind and Badshah, fill the space, more and more people venture onto the dance floor, losing their inhibitions as they move to the music.

They say music is a great unifier. I’ve seen how the music at these events not only unifies, it also breaks so many stereotypes that society has about who neurodivergent people are, how they should behave, and what parts of life they should have access to. Many individuals who have disabilities and are neurodivergent, have not been given the opportunity to just have fun: to hang out with friends and spend an evening laughing about stupid jokes, to while away time wandering around the city with no aim or destination, to get lost in the rhythm of music on the dance floor. This isn’t because they don’t want to have fun; spaces have not existed so far to be able to provide for such opportunities, but it’s also something much deeper. Society, parents, and sometimes even persons with disabilities themselves, don’t believe that ‘fun’ is a priority in their lives.

In a country where ‘roti, kapda aur makaan’ (food, clothing and shelter) form the basis for what it means to have a good life, and where disability is still shrouded in superstition and viewed with stigma, ‘fun’ seems like such an alien and faraway concept that it doesn’t even show up on the radar of people with disabilities and their families.

But fun is serious stuff; at least the World Health Organisation (WHO) thinks so! They developed a classification of health-related conditions called the International Classification of Functioning, Disability and Health (ICF), which suggests six F-words that should be the focus in childhood disability – Function (refers to what people do; for children, “play” is their “work”), Family, Fitness, Fun, Friends, and Future. In other words, every child needs to have all these components in their life to ensure complete well-being and participation in society.  Typically, in the Indian scenario, with respect to people with disabilities, ‘fun’ and ‘friends’ are the last priority, if they are considered at all.

One only has to look at the people dancing away at our Light It Up Blue event to realise just how important it is for all people, especially those with disabilities, to have fun! One visually impaired man sat quietly by himself in a corner till his favourite Bollywood dance number came on. Then suddenly, he was on his feet and dancing vigorously by himself, without actually caring who was watching! Another man, who was on the autism spectrum, came jumping up to me. “This is the first time I’ve ever danced!” he gushed. “And I love it!” An adorable young woman came on a wheelchair, accompanied by her mother. On her head, she wore a crown of glittering lights, “to match the disco ball,” she laughed. Mothers of young adults formed a circle and moved their bodies in time to the music, a sisterhood of circumstances that bound them together.

As shards of light scattered like stardust on the wooden dance floor, and the music slowed in volume and tempo, people started making their way home, with promises to meet new friends and old soon. Our promise to them was that this would be a yearly event, a chance for them to let their hair down and just have fun! If you are a parent reading this, I hear you: sometimes, you are so overwhelmed with life that fun – for your child and yourself – seems so distant. There is so much else to be done, but fun is what makes life worth living. So please, make time for fun in your life. It is the fuel you need to keep going on and on!